


A Mile With My Feet

by PokeChan



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Bodyswap, CLAMP Secret Santa 2014, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Feels, Gift Fic, Guilt, Hand Jobs, M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 14:01:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3070808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokeChan/pseuds/PokeChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're told "Do not touch" maybe listen next time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mile With My Feet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Velnica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velnica/gifts).



> My CLAMP Secret Santa fic for the lovely Velnica, who I am lucky enough to have known, even a little bit. I really hope you enjoy this fic my dear! Your wishes were the vaguest of vague so I went with a plot that I'd already been stewing on and that I thought you might enjoy.

It wasn’t as if Fai hated horses, he didn’t really mind them (they didn’t have horses in Celes, they had enchanted carriages and their own two feet), but between the horses, the sun, and the oppressive desert heat he might have been feeling a little less than ambivalent towards their equine transportation. His rear was sore, his back sweaty, and his eyes stung in the bright light that seemed to reflect off the sand. It wasn’t even noon yet.

He’d suffer a lot more than this though, all for a chance to see his family like he was seeing them now - happy and together. Clow, withering heat and beating sun included, was always a welcome sight to each of them, but more than that was the beloved princess that was the crown jewel of the desert. It was always too long between their visits, long weeks and months where none of them felt quite whole until they could see that smile again.

Fai would walk barefoot and alone across vast desert sands if it meant being able to keep them all together.

It wouldn’t help, he knew, so he did what he could to bring laughter and joy to their visits, and if that meant waking up before dawn and climbing atop a horse to go to an as of yet unknown location then off he went. It wasn’t so bad, he supposed. They’d all been chattering almost nonstop, and the conversation was good to help keep his mind off of the fact that it felt like he was baking.

Sakura had been so excited to take them on this trip. According to her there was something out here near the border villages that they simply had to see. They hadn’t even been at the palace a whole day before the horses were readied and supplies packed for their little caravan. The prince had taken Kurogane and Fai aside the night before they left and made a point to make sure they knew that the only reason a troop of guards wasn’t coming along with them was because the king and queen had been convinced that they would be enough to protect Sakura. It was true, and a bit flattering as well.

“Look! We’re almost there!” Sakura called, pointing to a patch of houses that Fai wouldn’t have been able to spot on his own. Through the sand and sun they looked like little more than darkly colored stones and nothing like homes or a village. At their distance of a little less than a mile he still couldn’t really tell, but Sakura knew this place, was used to it. “We’ll rest for the worst of the afternoon and head out in the evening.”

That sounded like a great idea. “How quick do you think we can get these horses to move?” Kurogane asked. They’d been moving at a sedate pace so to be easy on their steeds, but with their goal literally in sight Fai could see the itch for a bit more excitement under Kurogane’s skin.

To Fai’s surprise it was Sakura who answered in challenge. “Dunno, how well do you think you can keep up?”

The wolfish grin Fai’s fiance sent their daughter had even Fai perking up a bit in his saddle. Beside him Syaoran’s horse pawed the ground, sensing something was up. “Careful who you challenge, princess.”

And they were off, horse hooves kicking up clouds of sand and dust while Kurogane and Sakura’s laughter rang out into the open air and Syaoran and Fai did their best to keep up.

They managed to keep close enough to see Sakura pull ahead of Kurogane and bound over a low wall into the village, winning the impromptu race. Kurogane trotted his horse over to the village entrance as Fai and Syaoran followed suit, drawing even in time to see Kurogane ruffling Sakura’s hair and congratulating her.

“Haha, Daddy must be getting old,” Fai said. “Losing races to his daughter already!”

“Who are you talking to, old man?” Kurogane retorted, dismounting from his horse to lead it through the streets. His rebuttal didn’t do him much good as Mokona began singing a song about how Kurogane’s bones and joins would start creaking soon and he’d go grey in the hair.

The song and ensuing threats lasted them all the way to the small inn where they’d thankfully have a chance to rest and nap away the hottest hours of the day.

They were greeted just as guests of the princess would have expected to be greeted and were happily directed to their rooms while their horses were fed and watered. Noon was still a solid two hours away, but they still all gathered in Sakura and Syaoran’s room to enjoy an early lunch of bread and fruit.

They didn’t stay too long, Kurogane and Fai. While they’d missed Sakura dearly themselves, Syaoran was her precious person and they would have plenty of time (though not enough, it was never enough) to see her later in the day. For now they stood and said their farewells, plucking Mokona out of the now empty fruit basket, and headed down the hall to their own room, giving their children the privacy they needed.

Kurogane and Fai were fortunate enough to always have the other nearby. They traveled together and were never parted for more than a few hours at a time, it was nice and Fai thanked the stars for such a thing every day. Seeing the way Syaoran and Sakura looked at each other though, after so, so long apart really put it all in perspective for him though and he figured they could handle a few days with extra company in their room if it gave their children even a fraction of what he and Kurogane managed to snag almost regularly.

“They’re really growing up,” Kurogane said as he unlocked the door to their room.

“Hmm, that they are, Kuro-pon. Before you know it we’ll be grandparents,” Fai agreed. Depending on how one looked at it, they technically already were, but time travel was tricky business to figure out, even for Fai.

Surprisingly, Kurogane shook his head, not to disagree with the title of future grandparents (he’d long since accepted his role as stand in father for the kids) but with Fai’s timeline. “Nah, not until he can stay. They’re not going to doom a baby to a life with an absent father.”

Kurogane was probably right. Fai smiled and leaned up to peck Kurogane’s cheek. “I guess we’ll just have to wait a bit longer for a little bundle of joy,” he said before peeling off his shirts. There was a wash basin in the corner with his name on it. “Kuro-chan, come help me wash my back.”

“Yeah yeah,” Kurogane said, stripping out of his own shirts while Mokona did her best to tumble through them and not leave her ninja perch. “Hang on.”

\--

“I missed you,” Sakura said against Syaoran’s lips. She was sitting rather haphazardly in his lap where he’d pulled her after Kurogane and Fai had left with Mokona. She really did appreciate the privacy.

Syaoran kissed her again and she swore she could live a life where this was all they did, sit together, arms around each other and kissing tender and sweet. “I missed you too, I can’t even tell you how much.”

As wonderful as it was to finally have Syaoran in her arms again it always came with the urgent sense of not enough time. Try as she might while they were together she always felt the seconds ticking by like a countdown, she couldn’t put the thought that he’d leave her again before long out of her mind. No matter what she did her time with Syaoran and the others was always tinged with the bitter fact that it was all temporary.

She didn’t let that stop her, though. Oh no. Sakura’s fingers slid through Syaoran’s hair, traced a loving path down the side of his face, along his jaw. The backs of her fingers caressed his cheek as they kissed and kissed, as if they could prolong their time together simply by touching one another. And oh! If only that were the case.

“Don’t talk about how you missed me,” Sakura said between kisses, her voice thin with breathlessness. “Talk about happier things, sweeter things.”

And they did. They climbed into bed, protective desert clothing left forgotten in a pile on the floor, and spoke softly and kissed even softer until they dozed off, the heat of the afternoon and each other’s voices lulling them to sleep.

Sakura wasn’t sure how long they had slept when the tapping on their door woke her, but the light from outside was a burning orange, slowly bleeding into red. A few hours then she guessed as she sat up and stretched. The tapping on the door continued followed by Fai’s voice. “Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun, if you don’t get up soon we’ll miss dinner!”

Beside her Syaoran grumbled and burrowed further into his pillow. “Be out in a minute,” she called back to them and turned on Syaoran. A few playful pokes to his sides had him squirming to get away while keeping himself buried face first in his pillow. It was an ineffective tactic and soon Sakura was full on tickling him, which wound up with the both of them tangled in their bedsheets on the floor, breathless with laughter.

They picked themselves up fairly quickly and dressed. When they made it to the dining room that had been set aside for them their evening meal had already been set out and, though Kurogane and Fai were waiting for them before beginning, Mokona’s cheeks were already round with mouthfuls of food. It was by no means a feast, but the inn’s owner had surely prepared a very good meal for the princess and her companions.

“Ahh, good morning,” Fai greeted them. “Or, rather good evening.”

“Nice of you two to join us,” Kurogane said with the lift of an eyebrow and an air of amusement that had Sakura’s cheeks darkening a bit.

She cleared her throat and sat down that the table, helping herself to a plate. “Is Syaoran always that hard to wake up or is it just me?”

Fai laughed as Syaoran’s ears grew red and he ducked his head sheepishly. “To be fair, Kuro-tan’s wake up calls are hard to ignore. It was probably a nice change.”

As expected, most of the rest of dinner was spent playfully bickering and teasing one another. It was as they were clearing their plates that her family seemed to have enough of her secrets. “So, where is it you’re taking us Sakura-chan?”

“Yeah yeah!” Mokona chirped, bounding over to her. “Where’re we going?”

Shaking her head with a laugh Sakura stood up from the table. “I was going to wait and watch you all figure it out yourselves, _but_ a network of underground tunnels was recently discovered near here. They’re not as old as the ruins near the city, but they are ancient for sure and I thought it would be interesting to look them over.”

Syaoran’s face had lit up the moment she’d mentioned unearthed tunnels and even Fai and Kurogane looked interested and not simply indulgent. Sakura was excited all over again. She knew this had been a good idea!

It was quick work to gather their things and redress themselves in warmer cloaks. By the time they mounted their horses the sun was nothing but a soft red glow, low on the horizon. The moon, large and round, a few days from being full, illuminated the sands in pale light as stars winked at them from above. The air was already cooler than it had been and before they had even reach their destination Sakura could see her breath clinging to the air in little puffs and wisps.

They greeted the archeologists and excavators, let them take their horses for them. They received a stern lecture on safety - don’t touch anything if you can help it, stay out of the sectioned off areas, if you notice anything dangerous or unstable please alert part of the excavation team. There were many rules, and all very well. They had been assure that what the crew had managed to map out was safe for exploring, but anything beyond the sectioned off areas could possibly be unstable and that they should not risk it by being adventurous.

Promises made to keep to the guidelines the group headed down into the underground tunnels.

The day’s excavation was over and all the workers had been cleared out, leaving only lanterns strung up through the tunnels and a handful of place markers along the long walkway. The stones around them were made of a rough sort of material, scratchy to the touch but not prone to crumbling. Sand and dust piled in corners and coated the floor, muffling the sounds of their foot steps.

There were images carefully etched into the stone walls on either side of them. Most of them seem decorative, but there were a few they saw, as they walked on, that were labeled with notes about history and legends. They stopped to look over each one, Syaoran and Sakura taking turns reading out the archeologists’ notes to Fai and Kurogane. A few times Syaoran even had Mokona hand him a pen as he added observations and translations as footnotes.

“You sure it’s okay to do that?” Kurogane asked, following Syaoran, whose nose was stuck to the map in his hands.

“I left a message saying that I’d added the notes and they weren’t part of the team’s proper investigation. If they want to use them they’re there,” Syaoran said absently. “There’s a fork coming up soon. I think we should go left, there’s considerably less that has be marked safe that way, but it’ll be easier to double back and-”

_Thump!_

Syaoran, too wrapped up in reading the map, had run right into the wall where the walkway had split. “Ow…”

“Are you okay, Syaoran?” Sakura asked, doing her best to hold back a small fit of giggles. His face was a bit red, but it was probably more from embarrassment than injury. She could hear Fai and Kurogane snickering quietly behind them as she pulled Syaoran’s hand away from his nose. “Is it bleeding?”

“No, no,” he said as Sakura dabbed at it gently. “I didn’t hit it… that…” There was a quiet rumbling coming from somewhere all of a sudden. “Hard…?”

With a snap and a crack that seemed to echo off everything the floor beneath them dropped, dumping them down into a dark room. The landing was rough and Sakura knew she’s be feeling it for days afterwards, but she didn’t think anything was broken or terribly hurt. The groaning around her, more annoyed and exasperated than in pain, told her it was the same for the others as well.

“Is everyone alright?” came Kurogane’s voice from somewhere in the darkness. The whole area was pitch dark, only a faint light from the lanterns in the tunnels above gave them any light, and it wasn’t enough to show more than the vague silhouettes of everyone.

Everyone responded - they were all fine, just a bit sore. Sakura stood carefully, dusted herself off, and looked up at the ceiling where they’d fallen through. It was high up, but not unreasonably so. If Syaoran stood on Kurogane’s shoulders they’d be able to reach up and pull themselves through. They were going to be fine, there was no need to panic.

“What the hell was that about?” Kurogane said as Fai sparked his magic, a small ball of light appearing in the palm of his hand and giving them a bit more to see by.

“I must have hit a switch of some sort when I ran into that wall,” Syaoran said. He frowned at the map a few more seconds under the light of Fai’s magic before folding it up and stuffing it into his pocket. “This place isn’t on the map at all.”

“Well, I imagine the archaeologists tend to not run into walls so it’s likely they did even know this was here,” Fai said, wandering off towards walls.

There were symbols carved into the walls down there, too. The rest of them followed Fai and even though Sakura was in no way versed in the workings of ancient carvings she could tell that there was something different about these. The lines were smoother and the carvings went deeper and Sakura was sure she could feel a strange presence radiating from them. She heard Syaoran rattling off something about difference in tools and techniques, but Sakura didn’t follow most of it.

Fai ran a hand over the carvings, not quite touching them. Sakura was sure he sensed the strange power, too. It was as Fai’s hand hovered over a symbol that was quite a bit larger than the others on the wall that the power thrummed out, almost like the pulse of a heartbeat. After that, everything happened so fast.

Sakura and Syaoran has stepped back surprised, but Kurogane, probably in shock at the sudden influx of magic made a grab at Fai’s wrist to pull him away.Suddenly a blinding flash and a gust of wind like a solid wall pushed them all back, landing them hard on the ground for the second time that night. Sakura saw stars and for a second the whole world was spinning with nothing but tiny flashing lights and the dull ache to ground her.

The strange magic from before was thick in the air and something around them seemed… off.

\--

“Fai-san? Fai-san are you alright?”

That was the princess, she sounded worried. Was something wrong with the mage? Kurogane struggled to pull himself out of the haze he’d been slammed into. Everything on him hurt and he was impossibly disoriented. The air around him was pricking at his skin and his limbs felt weak. Pushing himself into a sitting position was a feat and his entire body felt wrong somehow. Even his voice when he groaned out his displeasure sounded odd to his ears, too high.

“How are you feeling, Fai-san? I don’t know what that was, but the magic seems to have moved.”

The princess was at his side, talking to him. Why was she calling him Fai? “Princess what are you ta-” Kurogane froze, recognizing the voice coming out of his mouth.

Oh there was no way, no way. In disbelief he lifted his hand (his thin, pale, delicate, uncalloused hand) and blinked once at it before grabbing at a mop of hair sitting on top of his head. Sakura looked up at him in confusion and when he heard Syaoran’s voice not a handful of feet away Kurogane turned to look and sure enough, he was looking at his own face by the light of Syaoran’s magic, turned to him with a look of astonishment.

“Oh no.”

Oh, this was not happening to him. He refused. He was not going to put up with nonsense like this. Thin limbs flailed gracelessly (so much unlike how they usually moved) as he scrambled to his feet. “You have got to be kidding me!”

“Well, if this isn’t a strange predicament we’ve gotten in to,” Fai said with Kurogane’s mouth and - oh gods above - he was smiling that stupid smile with Kurogane’s face!

“Cut that out,” Kurogane snapped, but Fai’s light voice held none of the threat he’d been aiming for.

Next to him Sakura gasped, wide eyes darting back and forth between the two adults before finally settling on Kurogane-as-Fai. “K-Kurogane-san?”

Kurogane sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. His body or not he knew what an on coming headache felt like. “Yeah, it’s me princess.”

“It looks like Kuro-puu and I have switched places,” Fai observed, getting to his feet unsteadily and Kurogane took satisfaction in the fact that it wasn’t just him that seemed to be having trouble adjusting to the change. “This is very strange.”

“Yeah,” Syaoran agreed, staring in what could only be described as horror at the cheerful look settled on Fai-as-Kurogane’s face.

“How do we fix it? And does your skin always feel like it’s crawling?” Kurogane asked.

The strange sensation of the air prickling him hadn’t gone away and now that Kurogane was more aware of the body he was in it also felt like the air was drifting over him in ghostly currents that his clothes were powerless to stop. He didn’t know what it was and wished it would stop.

“Crawling? What- oh! Magic, you’re sensing the magic left over from whatever did this,” Fai explained. He looked amused for a moment before his face fell. “Oh, if you’re sensing the magic that must mean my magic is still in my body.”

It made sense, Kurogane supposed. Magic didn’t come from the soul or mind, it was something that was a part of the body. It could be strengthened by the power of the soul or mind, but it was intrinsically linked to the physical body and now he was in Fai’s body in all the wrong ways.

“So I’m guessing using your magic to fix this is out of the question,” Kurogane said with slowly dawning horror. He didn’t know how to use magic, but he did know better than to attempt much of anything without proper training and a lot of practice. They didn’t really have time for either.

They were going to have to get out of here as well. It wouldn’t be too hard, they’d climbed their way out of worse places, but Kurogane had no idea if they needed to stay put in order to fix this problem. He could feel his expression souring as he thought about the situation. Fai, for his part, was frowning slightly as he moved Kurogane’s limbs about, spending extra time on Kurogane’s false arm. He wondered if it was bothering the mage.

Syaoran had gone back over to the wall they’d been at before, caution written in every line of his body. Kurogane expected him to start trying to read the wall and figure out what had happened, but instead he stooped down and, using his cloak as a makeshift glove, picked something up off of the floor. From what Kurogane could make out from where he was it was a stone tablet.

“This fell out of the wall,” he said, bringing the stone over to the others. “It might have a clue about how to fix our, er, problem. The thing is, I haven’t seen writing like this before. It’ll take a little while for me to translate it.”

Before any of them could point out how they were told not to move things in the tunnels and therefore didn’t have “a little while” a light shone down from the hole they’d fallen through, startling them all. The excavators had heard the ruckus and had dutifully come in, worrying about their princess and her guests. There was a bunch of unorganized shouting from above but soon a rope ladder was being lowered to them and in a panic Syaoran had Mokona hide the tablet in her mouth.

Thankfully, even with the oddness in his limbs, Kurogane managed to climb up the latter with no trouble and Fai seemed able to do the same. Fai and Kurogane agreed to keep quiet until they were away from the excavation crew to keep suspicions low. Even though the crew didn’t know them well, Kurogane and Fai’s attitudes were enough of a contrast to each other that the half hour they’d spent in their company would have been enough to tip them off to something being amiss.

Riding the horses back to the village was one hell of an adventure. Kurogane’s center of gravity was different than Fai’s and it made balancing on the galloping horses trickier than it should have been. Kurogane was a practiced rider, he knew his way around a horse and other horse-like creatures he’d come across. Despite that he felt as unbalanced as a child in the saddle.

Still, they made it back to the inn without either Fai or Kurogane falling so he supposed things could have been worse. Which was saying something considering how bad things were at the moment.

The strange prickling-crawling sensation running over his skin had gone once they’d left the tunnels and now everything was mostly back to the mundane feeling of a world around him. Something in his new senses - Fai’s senses - was making him acutely aware of Syaoran, Sakura, and even Mokona’s positions around him, but less so of Fai - or rather Kurogane’s body. He assumed it had something to do with everyone’s magic, but it was still mildly unsettling. Kurogane was used to being unthinkingly aware of everyone around him on equal levels, some auras were more familiar, but he picked up on a stranger just as easily as he picked up on his family. It was second nature to him, but now he had different senses and a different body and none of his muscle memory to fall back on.

He couldn’t imagine it was very pleasant for Fai being in Kurogane’s body either. The lack of magic alone was probably jarring, let alone all of the other differences. If the vaguely uncomfortable expression Fai was making was anything to go by they were both pretty miserable.

All of them were sitting in Syaoran and Sakura’s room. Syaoran was frowning over the tablet they’d taken from the excavation site trying to decipher it at a desk in the corner of the room. Kurogane was, admittedly, sulking in an armchair near the door while Mokona and Fai began poking at Kurogane’s body, Sakura, eyeing them all, probably trying to reconcile herself with how odd it must have looked.

He was surprisingly unbothered by the fascinated poking and prodding Fai and Mokona were doing to his body. Fai knew better than to be inappropriate around the kids, not that he had any delusions that anything Fai said would be news to either of them, and Fai had already seen every inch of Kurogane that he had to show. Mokona had probably sensed how uneasy Fai was and had set off on a one-bun mission to take the wizard’s mind off of the situation by turning it into a joke, at Kurogane’s expense of course.

It didn’t take long for Mokona’s joking to get Fai and Sakura smiling and laughing and it was there that Kurogane stopped being apathetic to their antics. At first he didn’t know what it was, but something about Fai laughing with his voice and face made something twinge painfully in Kurogane’s borrowed chest. He waited for Fai to laugh again, that same laugh that Kurogane loved so much when it lit up blue eyes, and when he did Kurogane nearly felt sick with the realization of what made it look so wrong.

“Quit making stupid expressions with my face,” Kurogane snapped and the ice in his voice hadn’t been intended. Wrong face, wrong voice - wrong wrong _wrong_. Kurogane could feel his short temper growing shorter by the second.

Fai rolled his - Kurogane’s - eyes and scoffed. “I’m not even making faces, Kuro-tan,” he said easily, like he hadn’t heard the cold anger in his own stolen voice. Sakura had though, and she was looking at Kurogane with concern now and dammit all - wasn’t this world supposed to be safe and happy for them?

Kurogane was out of patience for everything at the moment. It would be better if he left them all to do as they pleased before he took his frustration out of them when they didn’t deserve it. He stood quickly and snatched up his cloak. “I said quit it,” he snapped again. “I’ve had enough, I’m heading to bed.” And without another word he was out of the room, the sound of his own voice, tinged with Fai’s sudden worry, followed him.

He was half way through undressing when Fai made it to the room. He must have left Mokona with the kids tonight because there was nothing tiny and white perched on his shoulder when he sat on the edge of the bed. For a minute he just watched Kurogane change, probably waiting for Kurogane to lose his temper again and and shout at him, but Kurogane had himself under tight control now and was slowly simmering himself down.

Once he realized that his staring contest was futile Fai stood and wordlessly got changed himself, reaching twice for his own clothing rather than Kurogane’s. Gods they were both so turned around.

He could feel the question building up in Fai, even in this foreign body he could recognize Fai’s wordless patterns and cues and Kurogane, in the hopes of not having this conversation right now, maybe even ever, switched off the light and burrowed his newly scrawny body under the sheets. His hopes were quickly dashed when the lantern on Fai’s bedside table was not extinguished as he sat himself on the bed.

“Maybe that running from my problems thing is a genetic trait,” he mused. “Since you seem to be suffering from it at the moment.”

His voice did not do Fai’s sarcasm justice. “Oh shut up.”

“You know, it’s unfair to tell me to stop smiling with your face when you’re sitting there making all those sour faces with mine.” He settled further into the bed and poked, or rather jabbed, at Kurogane’s back until Kurogane rolled over and paid him some mind.

“Ow! Cut that out,” he said, swatting at Fai’s hand. “Watch what you’re doing, I’m physically stronger than you are. If you’re not careful you’re gonna end up accidentally hurting someone.”

He couldn’t explain it but the expression of innocent surprise that Fai had playing over his face made Kurogane look years younger than he was. He’d never seen his eyes go so wide and round. It was still less unnerving that when he laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he finally responded, letting his face fall into a relaxed smile. Even through his own features, Kurogane could still see Fai behind that particular expression. “Now what’s got you so upset about me smiling?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you smiling,” Kurogane said quickly, like it was a reflex. “And I’m not upset.”

“I thought you were a better liar than that Kuro-sama.”

Sighing, Kurogane realized he really wasn’t going to get out of this. He hoped Fai wouldn’t make him go into detail about his response. “You make me look like my father when you laugh.”

It was more than that though, so much more, but there was a lump forming in his throat that stopped him from saying it, told him he wasn’t ready to put those words out into the open right now.

Kurogane looked a lot like his father, he knew that from his memories, from the people of Suwa commenting on it through his childhood, from the handful of old nobles who had known his father and still felt the need to point out the similarities. He never saw his father in him past the superficial, though. It was true he had his father’s eye color and shape, his unruly hair and his build. He had his father’s physical strength and his skill with a sword through years of training and teaching. Those weren’t anything but skin deep similarities.

What he lacked, and what he had sorely needed, was his father’s temperament, steady and strong and _good_ even in the face of death. Kurogane lacked his father’s strength of character, his unending patience and his easy, good nature.

He had no right to ever see his father in him. Kurogane had forgotten everything his father had tried to teach him about strength, about what was Right and Good. Kurogane’s parents had died and Kurogane had embraced his rage and the darkness that came at its heels. He had done awful things as a young man and, wounded and aching and alone or not, he had shamed his father’s teachings and his name. To reflect that man, to radiate the same warmth and light as him was something Kurogane had no right to do, and seeing it had dropped ice into his veins.

It had almost been as if his ghost had come to life for a moment.

Fai let out a soft noise of understanding, something Kurogane was sure he’d never be able to duplicate on his own.

Kurogane was proud of his current self, knew that he had grown and learned. He was no longer that blood thirsty monster that Tomoyo had sent away. He knew what he had done was wrong, his disregard for the lives of others had been atrocious, but at the same time, even now, he didn’t regret it per say. He’d done his duty, both far too well and very poorly. Sure, Tomoyo and indeed all of the castle had been kept safe under his watch and blade, but he’d openly disobeyed his master and lost sight of the goal and promises he’d made as a boy. His past was nothing to be proud of, but he did not make excuses for it.

Kurogane was proud of how he had grown since then, he doubted his parents would feel the same, wasn’t sure they’d be able to see past the blood he had spilt.

Large, warm, calloused hands found Kurogane’s and for a second he wondered at the difference between his and Fai’s. Did he seem so large to Fai all the time?

To his surprise, it was Fai who commented on it. “Do I always seem so small to you?”

“What?” While Kurogane was a fair deal larger than Fai in size he had never considered the wizard to be small - thin, twiggy, slim sure, but never small. Small didn’t seem to line up with his idea of Fai, of who he knew Fai to be. “No, you’ve never seemed small to me. Do I seem big to you?”

In the light of Fai’s lamp he saw his own lips quirk into a very Fai-like smile. “Probably not in the way you’re thinking. You’ve always seemed a bit, ah… larger than life to me. I found it quite intimidating in the beginning, before I really got to know you.”

That was interesting, though not wholly surprising. “And what about now?”

Kurogane hadn't even been aware his muscles were capable of making a face like that, so open and totally in love. He was sure he’d never made the expression on his own (he saw his father again for a startling moment, and how he used to look at his mother). “Now you’re still larger than life, but it makes me feel safe. Now I know you’re a big, old softy under all that muscle.”

“Oi, you might have my strength right now but I’ll still kick your ass,” he said. This was all getting a bit too raw for him, he needed the familiar back and forth between them. Maybe there was something about Fai’s body that was prone to being overly attached to the past.

He was thankful when Fai took his bait with a cocky “Oh we’ll see about that!”

Fai’s body was quick, it moved easily even if Kurogane was unfamiliar with it from this side of things and he was sure it was largely due to the fact that Fai was also battle trained, though not as thoroughly as Kurogane. Fai, for once, had brute strength on his side, but he was either too worried about hurting Kurogane or the new bulk of his body was throwing him off because it was too easy to flip them both after a bit of scrambling and pin Fai to the mattress.

Grinning smugly down at Fai Kurogane was already feeling a bit better, the weight in his chest had lessened and his throat was no longer constricted with emotions he couldn’t put into words. Amusement bubbled up as Fai failed to fully dislodge Kurogane from on top of him.

“How are you doing that?” he huffed. He quit struggling and settled for pouting - _pouting_ at Kurogane with his _own face_ \- up at Kurogane. “You’re cheating.”

Kurogane adjusted the way he was sitting and leaned closer to Fai. “I wasn’t only trained in swordplay you know. I’m a warrior, I know how to use the body to my advantage.”

He only realized exactly what he said when a lecherous smile slid over Fai’s face and gods that was a weird thing to see. The expression was all Fai’s, Kurogane had seen it he didn’t know how many times, but those were his features making it. He didn’t get the chance to tell Fai no, to tell Fai to not even think about it, before his distraction was taken prompt advantage of and he was lifted off the bed and pinned on his back under what should have been his body.

For a second he saw what Fai meant about feeling safe. There was something to be said about having a partner who was larger than you when his body was draped so completely over yours, blanketing you. It had him a bit breathless for a moment as be blinked up at Fai owlishly.

Without so much as a clever quip Fai leaned down, obviously intending on a kiss. Under normal circumstances Kurogane wouldn’t have refused, but this was far from normal. “Hold on, wait!”

Fai froze, their faces were so close their noses were nearly touching. “What is it?”

“You can’t kiss your face with my face,” Kurogane sputtered. “It’s weird.”

Fai just stared at him for a second. “You have to be kidding me.”

“It is… don’t you think so?” The look Fai was giving him said quite plainly that he thought the only thing weird here was Kurogane. “You don’t think doing this while we’re all switched around is strange?”

“Kuro-pii,” Fai said slowly with the tone of someone talking to a particularly slow child and Kurogane had the urge to smack him upside the head. “Our lives have got to be the strangest thing the many universes we travel through have ever seen. I really don’t think our having sex with in the wrong bodies is terribly high on the list of Really Strange Things we’ve done.”

He supposed Fai had a point.

“If it really does freak you out we’ll stop,” Fai said, gently bumping their foreheads together. “But when are we going to get another chance like this?”

“You are far too into the idea of fucking yourself,” Kurogane dead panned.

Cutting off whatever smart comment Fai had, Kurogane leaned up and kissed him. With his eyes closed it wasn’t too obvious that he wasn’t kissing Fai’s lips. The way Fai kissed was the same, the press of lips and the flick of tongue were all familiar and soon Kurogane couldn’t even guess something was off until he reached up to thread fingers into silky hair and met short, messy locks. Before he could really dwell on it, though, Fai’s buried his hand in Kurogane’s hair and tugged just so and it lit up Kurogane’s nerves.

It didn’t stop there. He should have realized that Fai would have known each and every spot on his body, should have known that Fai would have been even better equipped to take Kurogane apart than usual. When a hot mouth pressed wet, open mouthed kisses up and down Kurogane’s neck he was throwing his head back and gasping before he knew what he was doing.

He didn’t know if Fai’s body was simply more sensitive or if there was actually that much of a difference in how his body reacted to sensations. Either way, Fai knew all the right buttons to press and he was not holding back. Fingers were tangled in long hair, tugging with just the right amount of pressure, and mouth and teeth were trailing down a slender neck and across collarbones. Kurogane knew he was making all sorts of embarrassing noises, needy gasps and appreciative grunts with each nip of teeth and flex of fingers. He could feel Fai’s grin against his flushing skin.

Kurogane managed to push through the fog of new sensations and lust to dig fingers into short hair and _pull_ , forcing Fai to bare his – Kurogane’s – throat. He surged forward, sunk his teeth into the warm skin of Fai’s neck, worried the skin until it darkened enough to please him. The deep throated moan Fai gave him had Kurogane thinking that it might not just have been him that was surprised by how different everything felt. He continued his assault on Fai, keep a tight grip on his hair and pushing his clothing impatiently out of his way as he worked his mouth roughly over jaw and neck and shoulder.

A knee worked its way between Kurogane’s legs, shoving his thighs apart and the next thing he knew Fai had taken both of his hands and pinned them to the bed on either side of Kurogane’s head. It sent a thrill through Kurogane to see and feel Fai taking advantage of the power in Kurogane’s body. He knew that, without using the magic kept in Fai’s body, he wouldn’t be able to overpower Fai. The feeling of being physically out matched sent electricity dancing over his skin and stoked the heat in his belly to a roaring flame.

Kurogane arched his back and growled, wordlessly challenging Fai, egging him further on. Fai flashed him a sharp grin and dipped his head to begin undoing the clasps of Kurogane’s shirt with his teeth, pausing to lavish each inch of newly exposed skin with attention. By the time Kurogane’s night shirt was opened completely he was a useless mess of a man, helplessly aroused and unable to think or even attempt to retaliate against Fai’s onslaught. He let his hips surge forward as Fai nipped gently at hip bones, too thin and too narrow, hands moving away from Kurogane’s wrists to knead at his thighs.

Desperate for some sort of purchase as his body felt like it would incinerate itself into ashes any moment now Kurogane tangled his fingers in Fai’s hair and fisted his other hand in the sheets. 

Fai made quick work of pulling off Kurogane’s pants, all but tearing them off in his uncoordinated haste. A warm hand wrapped loosely, almost carefully, around Kurogane’s dick, moving in slow, purposeful strokes. Kurogane’s fingers tightened their hold as he gasped out Fai’s name and thrusted his hips up into Fai’s hand. 

He knew exactly how to make Fai come undone when they were in their proper bodies, which twists of the wrist, the right amount of pressure, the speed of his strokes. Kurogane knew how to drive Fai wild, but he could never know Fai’s body like Fai himself. It was only his hand, large and warm and callouses deliciously just this side of rough, but Kurogane had never felt so at the mercy of his lust and arousal before. It was a struggle just to focus on anything besides the feel of molten pleasure coiling low in him.

“Ahh, Fai st- I’m not gonna last - _ahh_ \- much longer,” Kurogane stammered, pulling at Fai and breathless. 

He expected teasing but what he got was an almost relieved sounding sigh. “Good, everything is so different in your body, Kuro-tan, I’m not going to last long either.” 

Without warning Fai licked a thick stripe up Kurogane’s dick, saliva a cool contrast in the open air of the room against his heated flesh. He pulled off his own pants and shirt, clumsily tossing them to the side before making his way back up Kurogane’s body, kissing and licking a line up from navel to neck, making Kurogane _squirm_ beneath him. 

Fai kissed Kurogane sloppily, their lips pressing together with little finesse as Fai wrapped a hand around both of their dicks. Kurogane managed to pull enough thought together to reach up a hand to join him, both of them following the other’s lead, alternating wordlessly until they were both on the brink, foreheads touching and breathing each other’s air in harsh pants. Almost every single stroke and twist was perfect, it pulled at the heat roiling low in Kurogane’s belly and had his blood catching fire. The sensations of being hopelessly aroused were both familiar in Fai’s body and completely alien to him. 

Unwilling to finish before Fai, Kurogane fought to clear his mind a little. Fai wasn’t the only one who knew how his body worked and was willing to play dirty. With the hand that wasn’t busy jerking him and Fai off Kurogane dug his nails into Fai’s back while at the same time leaning up to catch his bottom lip between sharp teeth and bite, hard enough that he would almost draw blood. 

And just like that Fai was coming into their hands, burying his face in Kurogane’s neck and mouthing at it, not a touch of teeth. Normally, that wouldn’t be near enough for Kurogane, who needed the bite and the burn, the careful edge of pain-pleasure, but Fai’s body craved the gentleness of smooth lips and warm mouths. Kurogane came with a breathless gasp that was all instinct, pushing up and fucking desperately into their fists as they rode through their climaxes together.

They lay there together, sweat cooling on their skin and breathing evening out, in silence. Fai nuzzled lazily at Kurogane, nose rubbing playful, gentle lines against his jaw. Out of habit, Kurogane reached up to run fingers through damp hair and was only slightly thrown off to meet too short hair. It didn’t stop him. He kept threading his too thin, too pale fingers through dark hair that should have been on his head. 

They were quiet long enough for Kurogane to begin to doze off. The naps they’d managed to take that afternoon might as well have not happened in the face of the exhaustion their day had wrought. Trailing after excited children in ancient tunnels, getting magically body swapped with his fiance, having sex while in the wrong body. The unexpected emotional turmoil it had all dug up. Even Kurogane was ready to roll over and call it a night.

The impending sense of Fai building himself up to Talk About Something again, though, told him that was still a little ways off. “Just come out with it,” he sighed, sitting himself up. Fai followed suit silently.

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Fai began. “Not at all, but I would like to know why seeing your father in you was so upsetting. You don’t talk about your parents much, but I know you loved them very dearly. I’m just having a hard time understanding, I suppose.”

The tightness from earlier was back, though not as badly as before. Kurogane sighed and folded his arms, leaned back against the headrest. Part of him was saying he should talk to Fai, remembered all the times Tomoyo had tried to coax him into talking out his emotions, putting to words what he was feeling and why. He’d never listened, of course, but he remembered. He didn’t know where to begin though, he had no idea how to articulate this feeling of unworthiness he had.

There was no sense in him feeling undeserving of his own face, he knew that. He couldn’t help the way he looked, he was his father’s son, of course they would look similar, but he still felt like he didn’t deserve those similarities.

“My father was a good man, more understanding and kind than I could ever be,” Kurogane said. And after that he couldn’t stop.

It was like floodgates had opened and everything came falling from his lips. Feelings he would have never thought himself able to put into words were suddenly there. Fai was quiet, sat beside Kurogane and listened, was kind enough to keep his expression fairly neutral as Kurogane spoke. He let Kurogane open up wounds he didn’t even know he had, tell Fai things with a borrowed mouth that Kurogane had never even thought to speak before.

Kurogane told Fai about the blood on his hands, what a monster he’d been before he’d met with all of them. He told Fai that he wasn’t sorry for what he’d done, would never take it back or even want to. He admitted to his own selfishness, how he had twisted and dirtied his own wishes. Kurogane recited the lessons his father had given him, named each and every way he’d bastardized them or forgotten them in his misguided and desperate quest for strength. So many things he had never told Fai, or anyone in fact, before.

When he was done, when the words had left him and he felt an odd sort of emptiness where their weight had been Fai took Kurogane’s hand in his and held it while Kurogane took a moment to resettle himself. His eyes burned with unshed tears and when he was back in his body he might even let them fall but right now, in the wrong body with eyes that had cried enough, he refused. If he was going to shed tears he’d shed them from his own eyes. 

“I don’t know your father or your mother, but if they’re as kind and loving as you say they are then I don’t see why they would be disappointed in you,” Fai said. “You were in a dark place, yes, but after what happened to you anyone would be. The important thing is you found your way out and the man you are now is _better_. You’ve grown and learned, and I think they would be proud of that.”

“You don’t know that,” Kurogane said as he stood to collect his clothes and clean himself off, allowing the world to distract him from the over abundance of emotions he was feeling. 

Fai followed suit and didn’t say anything for a while until they’d climbed back into bed and turned off the light. “Neither do you.”

\--

Sakura had forced Syaoran to get some sleep before dawn and when he woke when she had tried to slip out of bed with the pale sunlight of a new day she didn’t try to stop him. They gathered food for breakfast and checked in on Kurogane and Fai, who seemed to be less out of sorts than the night before, but no better off. They ate together and Syaoran tried not to be too thrown off by Fai’s face broadcasting Kurogane’s surliness or Kurogane’s face smiling easily at the lot of them like Fai always did.

There was, at least, good news to be had. While they weren’t allowed into the tunnels until night, when the excavation crew had finished their work, the writing on the tablet they’d snuck away with wasn’t as different as Syaoran had feared.

“It’s just an older form of the language we currently use,” he explained. “It took me a while to realize but now that I have I should be able to have it translated by sometime tonight.”

“Ahh that’s wonderful Syaoran-kun!” Fai said and Syaoran wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t playing up his own cheerfulness just to mess with them.

“Hopefully, fixing this will be just as easy,” Kurogane said as he wrestled with Mokona over the last of the rolls.

Something was off about the two adults on their group, more so than just being in the wrong bodies and Syaoran was positive it had something to do with Kurogane’s outburst last night, but until they said something Syaoran wouldn’t stick his nose in it. They seemed okay enough considering, he was sure he didn’t need to worry.

“Hmm, if everything is going to be back to normal soon I’m going to have to take advantage of this as much as I can,” Fai mused. “Sakura-chan, let’s go into town and update Kuro-min’s wardrobe. I’m thinking something to show off his tummy.”

He really should not have said anything. Syaoran watched, first in slight apprehension and then in mild horror as Sakura smiled and happily agreed to take Fai out to run around in Kurogane’s body. He was sure the idea was nothing but a lot of talk, especially if Kurogane had anything to say about it, but the pair of them had Kurogane sputtering and blushing, the fair skin of Fai’s face doing nothing to hide it.

“Kurogane would look very cute with some jewelry too,” Mokona chirped. “He should get matching earring with Mokona!” 

“No one is doing anything with my body!” Kurogane snap and all of a sudden there was a crack of magic. The side table near the bed splintered into hundreds of tiny pieces.

Everyone froze, staring wide eyed at what was once a table. For a few seconds no one moved or spoke. Then, Kurogane, voice halting and shocked, said “Was that… did I do that?”

It had definitely been Fai’s magic that had lashed out and they were all lucky the only thing damaged was the side table. “Okay, I think we need to all take a break from teasing Kurogane-san until we’ve fixed this.”

“I didn’t even know you could do that! You seriously didn’t mean it?” Fai asked, completely agast.

Syaoran could see the spark of annoyance in Kurogane, but he resigned himself in with a quick look at the pile of useless wood. “Of course I didn’t mean it, you idiot. I don’t even know how I did that.”

“Maybe today Fai-san should give Kurogane-san a few lessons in magic,” Sakura suggested.

And that was what happened. Fai and Kurogane set out, putting a bit of distance between them and the village, just in case. Sakura spent the day out in the town, speaking with the townsfolk and keeping herself and Mokona busy while Syaoran poured over the tablets and his notes. 

It might have been the worry Syaoran felt at not being able to help his friends, or maybe it was just a particularly difficult bit of writing to translate, but he’d still not finished when Fai and Kurogane, tired and covered in dust and sand, returned.

Syaoran considered going back to the tunnels to take a better look at the secret chamber they’d fallen into, but he knew it wouldn’t be easy to get to now, not so soon after having uncovered it. Maybe if he insisted on lending his help to the excavation…? Or had Sakura demand they let him through - no, none of that would work. Frustrated, he continued working.

“So, this either says ‘With one rise and fall you will be freed of the trap your greed lead you to’ or it says ‘With freedom comes traps only seen by those on high’ and I’m really not sure,” Syaoran announced to the room at large. 

Mokona and Sakura were the only ones there. Kurogane and Fai, worn out from the training and desert heat, had opted to nap before dinner and then had insisted on sleeping through it as well. “The first one sounds like advice of some sort,” Sakura said.

“I’m not even sure if this does tell us how to fix this,” Syaoran admitted. “I’d have better luck if I could study the whole room and not just this tiny piece of it. There’s no way they’ll let us in there though.”

“We could just sneak in,” Mokona suggested. “We’ve done sneakier things!”

It was as good a plan as they were getting, Syaoran supposed. Determined to get some answers they got themselves ready to sneak into the tunnels. He was sure it wouldn’t be very hard, especially once he and Kurogane got a good look at the patrol patterns and security. They’d be in and out before dawn and hopefully with a lot more answers this time around.

Once they were ready they headed over to Kurogane and Fai’s room to fill them in on the plan. Syaoran all but pounded on the door, unsure how much the body swap would affect the others’ sleeping habits. He paused to listen. “Yes?” came Fai’s groggy sounding voice.

Before Syaoran could ask for permission to enter the room there were a pair of surprised outbursts and what sounded a lot like someone falling out of bed. Worried, he pushed open the door and saw Fai, tangled in sheets, on the floor grinning up at Kurogane who was quickly checking over his own body. 

“One rise and fall,” Sakura muttered. “The spell must wear off after a day! Are you guys back to normal?”

Fai smiled over at her and began to untangle himself. “As normal as we get!”

Truth be told, Syaoran was a little disappointed they wouldn’t be able to break into the tunnels.

**Author's Note:**

> There was a different ending I had originally planned for this fic, and it all feels a bit rushed to me. But If I had done what I'd wanted to do there was no way you were going to get this anything like on time. I think one day, maybe, I'll remix this into a multi-chapter story the way I really want it to be.


End file.
